Coach Jill Finklang on The Success or Disappointment of Racing

Do we ever forget our first race? Mine was the Indy Mini Half Marathon in May 2003. Two of my sorority sisters asked me if I wanted to join them in a feat that felt so huge that we thought it might be impossible to conquer. I was 37 years old and I had no idea what I was doing in training and recall being so nervous the night before that I didn’t sleep a wink. Race day was an incredible experience. We ran a lap in the Indy speedway and I remember passing so many people. As an adult, was there any better way to feel like a rock star. I was so overwhelmed with the joy of being able to run the entire way and finished in a time of 2:08. I didn’t know if this was a fast time or a slow time, but I knew it was my time and the only thing I cared about was being so proud of the accomplishment and knowing I gave my very best. That Summer, I paired up with other friends who started running, and we headed to Virginia Beach in September. On a hot and muggy day, I ran my second half marathon and crossed the finish line in 1:58. I didn’t have any goals and again was just so happy to finish. Just two weeks later, I ran the Lewis and Clark Half Marathon and on a cool, crisp morning, I found my groove and finished in a time of 1:51. I had so much success in just five months and at that point, I knew I had caught the endurance running bug and I was hooked.

The next year, I transitioned to marathons and my “Cinderella Story” continued. Until it didn’t!  And that’s when I learned that even if I put in all the hard work in training and did everything right, race day owned me nothing!  If I wanted to continue to find my joy in the sport, I needed to accept the things that were outside of my control. In my two decades of running, that out-of-control element has, more times than not, been the WEATHER!  I deeply learned the lesson of focusing on what I can control in parallel with gratitude in 2008.  That Fall, the remnants of Hurricane Ike didn’t care one bit that I was in the best shape of my life. It made its presence known like a vengeance all the way to St. Louis and resulted in a canceled race for me. It was so unfair, left me with nothing, and the disappointment was real. I knew I had another race just a month later though so tried to focus on the success I would surely achieve there as I was set up beautifully to run my first Boston Qualifier at the Chicago Marathon. Once again, I got another punch in the face, when the race day forecast proved to be oppressively warm. While I could have been disappointed knowing my goal to BQ was evaporating right before my eyes, I instead remember walking to the race start and shifting my focus to gratitude. I thought back to my very first half marathon in Indy when running 13.1 miles seemed impossible, and here I was ready to not only tackle 26.2 miles again, but race it. I had a successful training cycle and I was accomplishing something so big that most people will only dream of. If I overcame everything I could control, like adjusting to a more realistic goal, staying focused, and giving my very best, how could I really be disappointed in that. Ultimately, the marathon was shut down because of the heat, but I finished before the cutoff.  We were all devastated to learn that an athlete died during this hot race, and this forever made an impact on me. I’ve run 36 marathons, and this race, which could have been my biggest disappointment, is definitely the most unforgettable and the one I’m most proud of.

As athletes, we set aggressive goals and do all the hard things. We’re wired to always just keep wanting more and continue to set the bar high. It’s what drives our success. Even though we hope to stay on a winning streak, if we put ourselves out there enough, eventually, we’re going to have a bad race. For me, anytime my mind may shift to disappointment, I try to put things back into perspective and think back to that very first unforgettable race in Indy and I'm quickly reminded of the incredible journey I’ve had in this sport and how far I’ve come. Running is truly a gift and if we give our best, no matter what the circumstances, how can we possibly be disappointed in that.