Running Contradictions

By Stephanie True

2011. The year I started to run. I have been running for just over 12.5 years and it feels like I have been running forever. This is just one of many contradictions in my life.

Contradiction #1: I hate running. Well, I did as a teenager. I went to Bishop DuBourg High School in south St. Louis and I absolutely hated the mile we had to run around Francis Park, which today is one of my favorite team running locations. I was a bit of a mess as a teenager and into my early 20s. Running had no place in my life. Fast forward to now and I can’t imagine a life without running. And I truly feel it’s a love/hate relationship. I don’t always love the run, but I love how I feel after. In the fall of 2022, I was told I might not run again. I was devastated. But I continued to work my way back with the help of my Spewak Racing team and Mark Spewak, my running coach at Spewak Training. 

Contradiction #2: I am a solo runner but I need people. For the first 7-8 or so years of my running, I truly ran by myself. I listened to music and did my own thing. I was afraid to run with others as I thought I would hold them back, telling myself I was not a real runner. Then I joined Spewak Racing and began to run with others. But even that was more about me just listening to others, which I still do a lot of today. At first, it was because I was really running too hard to talk, just trying to look like I could hang with the others. As I got more fit and the pace was a little easier for me, I could join in a little more on the conversation. But…my preference now is to go at “party pace” (easy) yet still be more of a listener than a talker. I love Spewak Racing runs and look forward to my schedule in the very near future allowing me to be back with the team on a regular basis.

Contradiction #3: I need a running plan because I am a rule follower, but then I want to debate and bargain with my coach, even though he clearly knows best. I got into the coaching situation when I recognized that I might be a little decent at running, even at my older age. I also recognized that I had one speed - just run hard - all the time. At first, I requested a 16 or 20 week training plan. After some success, I graduated to a weekly plan designed around my current fitness and racing schedule. I PRed in the half marathon in 2018 and the 5K, 10K, and marathon in 2019. I qualified and ran Boston in 2018, 2020, and 2021, and hope to run it a final time in 2025. In 2020, running with injuries became more frequent, and in 2022 not running at all with my foot in a boot knocked me out of the Chicago Marathon. I now needed a running plan to keep me running, not to keep me running fast. My goal changed. My need for speed did not. My coach kept me in check (which happens a lot with my request to do speedwork even when I am not supposed to be racing). As a result of mostly following the plan, I am fresh off truly the most amazing experience of my running life - running the Rome Marathon this past March. This was a dream that exceeded expectations exponentially. Running in a beautiful international city with 18,000 runners from around the world was beyond anything I could have imagined.

Contradiction #4: Less is more. What keeps me running these days is running four days a week, not six. I learned in 2022 that I can move in other ways. My wise coach, knowing I am a rule follower, put cross training in my training plan. I can stairclimb, bike ride, elliptical, and aqua jog. I move in more ways now at 59 than I ever did. Some days it would be so much easier just to walk out my front door and go for a run, but I want those some days of running to still be there in 10 years. So…I listen to my coach and my body (and my amazing teammate and Chiro - Brennan Donahue)!

The bottomline: I love my husband, my adult children and my grandchildren deeply! They are my life. Running has somehow made me better for them. And when experiencing unimaginable grief with the loss of my bonus daughter, the running community was there for me. So my love/hate relationship with those dark, early morning runs and that brutal marathon distance has made me a much better version of myself for the ones that I love the most. 

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Pregnant.  Zero mileage.  Am I still a runner?